Dealing with the prospect of losing my child

On Tuesday, life presented me with some very difficult circumstances and an incredible opportunity to grow.

My family left for India on July 4th and arrived there on July 6th.  A mere four hours after they landed, my 9-year-old daughter started vomiting and this continued for almost 8 hours.  She got severely dehydrated and extremely weak.  She did not eat or drink since she could not hold anything down.

I was traveling in Boston and was quite concerned.  Later that night, upon returning to Pittsburgh, I called my wife to hear that our daughter fell asleep, but woke up in the middle of the night saying that everything was fuzzy and that she could not see very well and there were white halos around things.  This really scared my wife and as I heard it, my fear started to grow and energy drain out of my body.

I was alone in my house more than 12,000 miles away from her and felt really helpless and totally powerless.  I started to howl and cry uncontrollably.  I was not feeling any better and in fact it was getting worse and my fear and anxiety were escalating.  This went on for a couple of minutes and then something amazing happened.

I asked myself this question, “Who is crying?” not “Why am I crying?”

The reply came immediately,  “My Ego is crying.” It was feeling totally helpless and out of control.

What happened next brought me so much peace that I was inspired to share this with you.  I reminded myself, “If she is a spirit and I am a spirit, then why am I getting so worked up?

I cannot tell you how quickly the trauma and the drama subsided.  There was instant calm. Please read my other post “Do you feel sad when an ice cube melts?” if you have not done so.  I have also added to it since this amazing experience.

I sincerely hope that this post provides an opening to those who may have experienced such situations.  Peace!

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